those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i think i have herpe
just one?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
