Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
