our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
