Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
