i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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