He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
