Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
