You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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