He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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