where am i from again
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
