Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm getting married
To pizza
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
