Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
