im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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