Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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