I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
