Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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