She just used a chaser for red wine.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
