and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize