Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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