i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
