Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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