Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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