you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize