My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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