Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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