So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
