I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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