Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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