Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize