Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
