Whod you bang
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
