Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
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