just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
