4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
