dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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