hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
