The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
