did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
