The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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