can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
