piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
