White coat. Heels.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
