Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
where does the pee come out of this thing
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
