Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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