I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
