then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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