Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
