His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
The ass gains better be worth it
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
