So drunk its hurt
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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