you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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