Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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