You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
