I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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