So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
