Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
