i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
