Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
