I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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