Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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