I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
