I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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