escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
