I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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